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Are Our Traditions Around Funerals Outdated?

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Having worked in the funeral industry for many years, the price of a cremation lasting only forty-five minutes has never sat well with me. 

How can it be right?

The coffin arrives while the mourners are watching and waiting. Then they are stuck for words as the coffin is brought into sight, an eerie silence fills the air while a knife could cut the atmosphere. Then a family member becomes inconsolable while five men carry the coffin into the chapel. The service takes place with no time to adjust. A eulogy is read, two or three pieces of music are played then at the end the committal takes place.

This is all within thirty minutes!

The forty-five-minute allocation is from when the first person walks into the crematorium until the last person leaves. This is so the funeral behind can take their forty-five minute allocated slot.

What has led us to this, and what is wrong with the ways we are currently conducting cremations? 

First, we need to understand how our funerals have come to exist as they do today. Before the 1900’s most people died at home, not in hospitals, care homes or hospice, these were simply not freely available.  So, when someone died, it would more often be at home and they would stay at home until the day of the funeral. Before the 1900’s the undertaker’s main two roles were to provide a coffin and transport from home to the grave, but if the home was close to the graveyard, transport was not required as the family and friends would carry the coffin from home to the graveyard themselves.

The changes to the way we look after the deceased have come about since the early 1900’s. Since then, undertakers or Funeral Directors as we now call them, take the deceased from, more often a hospital or hospice to the funeral directors, then from the funeral directors to the cremation or burial.   For more about how funerals have come about in today’s society see The Undertaker AT Work 1900-1950 https://www.brianparsons.org.uk/undertaker.html

Other than the deceased not staying at home, undertakers as we now know them, have not changed very much over the last 100 years. Take for instance the uniform of pallbearers and conductors. The conductor still has his top hat and cane and they all wear a waistcoat and tailed jacket with grey pinstriped trousers.

Personally, I don’t think taking the deceased to the funeral home has helped us as a society to deal with death and funerals. We have become very fearful of even talking about dying. 

Many people say it is seeing the coffin arrive at a funeral that is too emotional for them to cope with and many also report not being able to remember what was said at the funeral service. This is a typical reaction to someone in shock or in emotional distress.

Try to imagine, if we had kept the tradition of keeping the dead at home until the funeral takes place, how we would cope with a funeral today? I am a fully trained psychotherapeutic Counsellor, and know only too well, the more we are exposed to things and ideas, the less we fear them.

While it might be too late to turn the clocks back by taking the deceased home, it is not too late to start embracing further changes by removing any unnecessary traumatic elements.

 

Discover how more people are turning to direct cremation as an alternative to the traditional funeral: 

Traditional funerals dying out in UK as no-frills options rise

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/aug/29/traditional-funerals-dying-out-uk-no-frills-options-rise

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What is a Direct Cremation?

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What happens at a direct cremation may be very basic but is none the less respectful. The aim is to separate the cremation from the farewell, giving families more time options and fewer constraints than that of a traditional crematorium service.  As a nation with a current rate of 2000 Direct Cremations per year, now really is the time to embrace newer ways of saying goodbye.

What is a Direct Cremation?

A Direct Cremation is a cremation that takes place solely for the purpose of a cremation alone; there is no service for mourners. You may think this to be sad but families can now organise a personalised memorial service without the coffin being present. There are many advantages, one of which being, the whole family including children, can now say goodbye at a time and location of their own choosing.

At Clear Cremations, we believe the best advantage of having a Direct Cremation is the inspiration for a personalised send-off. Whether this is a simple lighting of a candle, a drink at a local inn or a full memorial service, the ways of making it personal to the person who has died are endless. 

Also, with savings of £2500 or more, this also gives the ability to arrange something a little more special than the norm.

In 2018, I arranged a direct cremation where the person who had died had outlived many of their relatives, leaving a total of four people to attend their send-off. Between them it was decided, while the Direct Cremation was taking place, the family would meet at their local inn. It was the place where historically they all met for birthdays and Christmas dinners. So between them, they spoke of fond memories and when it was time to say goodbye, they each bid farewell by hand releasing a dove.

In contrast to this, at a different funeral, A family arranged for a memorial service to take place after the direct cremation. They had transferred the cremated remains into a beautiful casket, which they took along to the memorial service. A civil celebrant led the service at a function hall. There was a eulogy, tributes, live music and poems. Also, they had a beautiful photomontage, which played on a large screen as the service took place. Then, after the memorial service had taken place, everyone was able to stay behind to reminisce over some food and drink.

What Happens at a Clear Cremations Direct Cremation?

At Clear Cremations we use a reputable purpose-built crematorium with state of the art facilities. Using a specialised vehicle, we collect the person who has died directly from the hospital or coroner’s mortuary and transfer them straight onto the crematorium. They are then placed into an elegant solid pine eco coffin until it is their commital time, at which point they are respectfully taken to the crematorium’s chapel and placed onto the catafalque where the commital takes place. A catafalque is the platform that the coffin rests on before the cremation takes place. The cremated remains are then brought back to our office from where we take them back to a location of choice, free of charge, within a 15 mile radius of our office.

What are the advantages of a Direct Cremation?

While low cost is the main advantage of a Direct Cremation, it is not the only advantage. Many of our older generation are now opting for this, as it provides a fuss-free funeral without all the trimmings. This is proving to be more appealing as time goes on. There is a strong preference of our older generation wanting their remaining family to have fond memories of them, not memories of being themselves being overwhelmed at the sight of their coffin. Please don’t be fooled into thinking it is only the older generation opting for direct cremations. Take David Bowie, for example, who sadly passed away of liver cancer in January 2016. His wishes were to be cremated secretly without his friends and family being present.

What is included in a Clear Cremations Direct Cremation?

For £975 + £82 Doctors fees, we will:

  • arrange all the legal and necessary paperwork relating to the cremation
  • handle all the necessary doctor’s paperwork
  • pickup from hospital or coroner’s mortuary and transfer to the crematorium
  • provide a solid wood eco coffin
  • bring the cremated remains back to a home address

If you would like to find out more about our direct cremations, please call us on 01279 415182

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How Can Funeral Costs Be Reduced

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Save money on funeral costs


Taking away what is not needed. In turn, you can make some big reductions.

 

 

Funerals can be quite costly due to fees from funeral directors, overheads, and expenses such as the hearse, funeral conductor, and pallbearers. However, it’s worth questioning whether these expenses are truly necessary or if they’re just part of an outdated tradition.

Basically we’re able to keep prices down by not taking care of the deceased person on-site. Instead, we’ll pick them up directly from the hospital or hospice and transport them to the crematorium without a service. This doesn’t mean you can’t still have a service.  You can choose an alternative venue and even arrange for the service to take place with the cremated remains.

Opting for a direct cremation, you’ll have more flexibility to use a local community hall for the service without being restricted by time limits or emotional traditions. Likewise more staff and interaction involved in a funeral, the higher the cost.

We offer services that are designed to reduce the cost of a funeral by eliminating the fuss of outdated traditions. While still allowing you to say goodbye with a memorial service or celebration of life. This way, you can honor your loved one in a way that is both meaningful and affordable.

 

Direct Cremation Assistant

Not having a high cost of shop fronted premises

Not having pay the cost of staff to collect the person who has died from hospital / hospiceext Here

Not having the cost of storing the person who had died for weeks before the funeral takes place

Not having to pay the cost of the 5-7 members of staff on the day of the funeral

Not having the cost of a hearse and limousines

Our aim is not to make funerals cheap, but rather to provide better value by eliminating unnecessary elements of a funeral. Doing so, we can offer you more options for saying goodbye. More fitting to the person you are saying farewell to.

Hence with our service, you can book a local community hall or even a hotel. Without being limited by the crematorium’s time restrictions of just half an hour to forty-five minutes. This way, you won’t feel pressured to rush or be out of the way to make time for the next funeral service.

We also understand that in modern times, many people are in a state of shock when they see the coffin arrive. Therefore they may not fully absorb what is said during the funeral service. That’s why we believe it’s important to create a more comfortable and personalized environment for saying goodbye.

Reducing the cost of unnecessary expenses, we can offer you a meaningful way to honor your loved one. With Clear Cremations, you’ll have the freedom to create a goodbye that truly reflects the life and memory of your loved on

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